I thought about just writing a comment but then remembered that I'm an ego maniac and I need my own by-line. So here it is:
Once upon a time I was an easy going chick. I thought that I was open to opinions and critique regarding any number of things. I was wrong. I was never easy going, I never listened. I was lying to myself. While attending college in Kansas I had the honor of coaching Katie and several other swimmers as a coach of Emporia Aquatic Club. Upon returning to Colorado, I started coaching again, teaching, finishing school and coming out. It was a crazy year. Anyway, I became a coach for a Masters swimming team in Ft. Collins, CO. There happened to be very nice girl on that team, that was very flirty with me. Now that I look back on things, I probably should have given the whole situation more thought. As a coach of an age-group team I would never even think about dating a swimmer, even though when I was coaching in KS, I had swimmers that were 18 years old and I was a mere babe at 19. To me that would have crossed the line, I was in a position of power, etc. However since this was a Masters team, I was 21 as was the hot girl, I decided it was acceptable. I'd like to say that our relationship was long, happy, splendid, pick a word. It wasn't. The fact that I was her coach really screwed things up. Instead of being a girlfriend or a date when we went out as 21 year old girls do, I put on the coach mask and made faces when she ordered alcohol, fried foods, or danced until dawn. (no pun intended) I was unable to be a happy partner at meets because I was the coach. As the coach I can always find room for improvement. She always told me that there is a difference when your coach is thrilled with your time than when a girlfriend is. The girlfriend didn't know the difference between a second cut on a 1500 or a 50. So from that point on, even though I was tempted many a time, I vowed never to date a swimmer, student, client(that's a whole other ball of goo) or a co-coach's kid. I've done well. Currently I'm in a great relationship and have been for several years. We don't like the same sports for the most part. We both golf but so far have managed to keep from throwing jabs on the course. However we do run a ranch together, which has proven to be difficult from time to time. I grew up on a cattle ranch, I hated then, swore I would never do it again. Shelly grew up in Florida on the beach, with a love of horses. Shelly has done a lot to improve her knowledge about horses, I hate horses. I let her make all the decisions when it comes to the equine here at Rolling Thunder. Everything else can sometimes be a brawl. Cattle don't look like and don't act like horses. Some days she tells me that the ranch is her job, so I should just let her do it. When that BULL**** comes out of her pie hole, I simply tell her to go ahead and "Get er Done." I'd be happy to stay home and build a fire. That however never works, she wants to be the boss but I refuse to be a subordinate. I've added fuel to our feud by accepting a job as the EMS Chief with the agency we both volunteer for. She tries not to show it but she hates it. Not only am I in a position of power over her but she is actually a higher level medic than I am. I'm an EMT-Basic and she is and EMT-Intermediate. I was offered the job because of my experience in director or supervisory positions, not because I can get an I.V. while the ambulance is moving at 50 mph up the mountainside. Still I have become her boss, in a volunteer agency, where I'm the only paid position. It has been a very interesting summer. I'm working on approaching things from different directions, to listening to others advice and most importantly listening to Shelly even though I don't think she's listening to me.
5 comments:
Dawn, I'm so glad you got your own by-line on this post. It's way too good for the comments section.
I love your stories!! After you left EAC, I lost track of you, and I love hearing about what you've done since then.
So, it sounds like it's hard for you to take off the "coach hat" once you've established that relationship with someone. I think it's hilarious that you were in coach mode when your girlfriend pigged out, etc.
That reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my colleagues, who also happens to be my friend. I've gone running and biking and swimming with her, but she was having trouble sticking to a workout plan, and she said something like, "Katie, can't you be my coach, too?" And I carefully explained to her that I can take on two roles at a time (e.g., friend and colleague), but I can't do three at once. Friend, colleague, AND coach just won't work.
Case in point. She stopped by my office shortly after that, and began telling me about her new invigoration for working out. She had a new game plan or something.
When she finished, I very calmly replied, "I'm going to need to see a little less talk and a lot more action."
She opened her mouth in surprise, like I'd thrown this terrible insult at her.
"Case in point," I said. "I can't be your coach and your colleague AND your friend." It just won't work.
So we're sticking with friends and colleagues.
Interesting work environment for you and Shelly. How would you feel if you were in her position and she had the paid job? Just curious.
Hmmm, I said "case in point" twice in that post. Doh!
Oh Katie...Soooo Funny. I needed my own by-line because I'm a smart ass, ego maniac. Anyway..in answer to your question about reversal of the paid job.....Hmmm, I'd probably have big issues if I chose to take a large volunteer part. For example, Shelly is my chief crew leader, and one of very few ALS (Advanced Life Support) Providers that I have. She is a large part of 4 Mile. I know that when I choose to take a big chunk out of the ranch duties, that she feels she is in charge of, we brawl. So I could work under her but it would have to be in an inconsequential position. I think Shelly needs to wear that "Boss" hat a little more and with more confidence. Brother Dutch is working with her now on the ranch, and it has been akin to a 80's horror movie. BAD>>>Dutch has no idea about animals, ranching, poo, etc...He's an IT specialist, retired from the Coast Guard. He has been the BIG CHEESE, many times in the past. He starts telling Shelly that she needs to do this and that, then Shelly gets mad because she thinks she's doing just fine (which she is) but then they get into a sibling bickering match. Dutch as quit twice already and he's only been her since mid-July. I'd like to think I'm maturing in my old age though. Maybe I could be ok with Shelly being my Med-Chief...but probably not.
You know me as a coach. I don't think it's hard to see me in coach mode as my gf is pigging out.
I lost track of you too....From comments and pictures and such...I think that I will really have a good time with that husband of yours...And Andy...Holy Cow, doesn't seems like he's changed a bit! I need to hire a pet nanny so I can visit people from my past, heck even visiting people from my present would be awesome. Darn goats...sometimes they just don't want to talk.
Yes--get a pet nanny, and come visit us in Georgia!!! Next time we're in Colorado, I'm looking you up! Trent wants to meet your goats.
I just saw on CBS Sunday Morning that Colorado Springs is the healthiest place in the U.S. All of that fresh air on the ranch.
Do you and Shelly do a lot of hiking? (or do you have even have time for that?)
The only time Shelly and I hike is if someone rolls their car down the mountain and we have to hike down to get them out. Jolene and I use to hike but we started having a problem with mountain lions coming over the hill. It wasn't very safe. Occasionally we ride the horses up the mountainside.
I am surprised that COS is a healthy place to live. Every morning when I watch the local news I hear about someone getting killed. I think that it is supposed to be a great place for bicyclers too. You should come out and we will do the INCLINE!
http://www.manitouincline.net/
I've done it a couple of times, when it was "illegal." It's pretty cool.
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