I had my third baby in November. It seems whenever I get knocked up, I get fat, no matter what my weight was to begin with. With Joseph, I was 162 pounds when I began and well over 200 when I gave birth, although over 25 pounds of that was water weight. (Can we say swollen?) One year later, I was 142 and a size 8. When Camille was a year old, I was ten pounds over THAT and started Weight Watchers.
Right away, I began dropping sizes. That winter, my husband gave me tons of new clothes and all my pants were a size four or six and my shirt a small or XS. I was thinner than I was as a 22 year old bride! Is it any wonder, then, that we had number three? :)
I steadfastly ignored my weight gain throughout the pg. I tried to eat healthy but morning sickness and strong food adversions led to velveeta and salsa cravings, which I think I ate for lunch every day for two months. (Is it healthy if it was with whole wheat toasted pita bread or Kashi crackers?) Mentally, the weight gain was the hardest part of being pg. Total strangers telling me I was huge, that my dates MUST be off, I was having twins or it was "any day now" in the middle of October (my due date was 12/24/08) didn't help. At all. Can you give the fat pg cow a latte please and don't hold the whipped cream?
Sadly, my dates were quite right. My water broke at 35 weeks, zero days and my son was born ten hours later. During a nine day NICU stay for surfactant and a vent, it took all my will power not to buy a Godiva cheesecake and dive straight in. The fact that OSHA allowed no food or drink in the baby's room probably saved me. I mean, who wants to leave your sick infant's side to do something as mundane as eat? Only the matra "must drink water to bring my milk in" kept me going (and Dove chocolates, thanks to a friend).
I'm a stress eater. Since the night of Nov. 19, there has been nothing BUT stress around here. Had a baby. Had a hospital stay. Had a baby who doesn't gain weight for a month. It's cold/flu/RSV season. If my baby catches a cold, it could send him straight back to the hospital. I'm fired from my job. We're packing. We're trying to sell the house. We're showing the house and I have to keep it freakishly clean... with three children 4.5 years old and under. Ha. Ha.
Wait. Who said cheesecake?!
I joined Weight Watchers again at 5 weeks post partum because, sadly, I can't stand myself overweight. Yes, I know I just had a baby. No, that doesn't make a differnce. I know I should be celebrating the fact that my body grew a whole nuther wonderful human being... but my body crapped out on me this time and, by doing so, put my baby in danger.
Yes, body, I know you can do a bang-up job lactating. I'll give you that. However...
I can't go to live-in-person meetings until RSV season ends, sometime in April or May. I really need the meetings and the in person guidence. I'm doing the on-line program but, let's face it, if I was that self motivated, I probably wouldn't need to buy the program in the first place!
I finally dropped a size this past week and made it to my first goal, pre Joseph size (162). It's odd- I was wearing these slacks at 152 when I joined the whole deal in the first place. Why do they fit perfectly at 162? Did I stretch them out? Or is my scale off? (I might go with the "scale is off theory" since I bought shirts that are a size small. Um, I'm trying to figure that one out....)
I can't really work out because I can't put the baby in group day care. I walk alot- the malls, the block when the weather is nice. I completely understand it when moms say they don't have time to work out. By the time I strap all five into the car, get to the Y, un strap them and drop off... that is a work out! I think when the baby can go to group day care, I'm going to start swimming again and treat myself to a personal trainer. I can't wait to go to group meetings for WW, because I think tracking and weigh-ins will be so much easier in a group setting. (Well, that and FINDING my WW materials amoung this mess.) I'm doing good at getting my three servings of dairy in and better about fruits and veggies. My problem is snacking off the kids plates- a bite here and there can really add up.
Oh, yeah, and the stress eating. Bah.
One day, I'll be skinny again. One day...
4 comments:
Whew! You have been through a very stressful time. A pregnancy, a premature baby, a hospital stay, job loss, trying to sell a home, an upcoming move, being Mom to 3 small children while nursing a baby. And yet you have managed to lose weight. You are an amazing woman. You get my WHAT A WOMAN AWARD.
I hope you realize how amazing you are! Lesser men and women would have crumbled by now. I am sorry people made you feel bad when you were pregnant. And I am sorry that you went through so much birth trauma. I hope things settle down, at least a little bit, so you can catch your breath. Just remember you are TERRIFIC! Just think, you have dropped one whole clothing size. I have been dieting for 2 years and I FINALLY dropped a size. I am a stress eater too. Congratulations on your new baby and on your weight loss. Your children are lucky to have a Mommy with grit and determination. I hope you have someone to talk to in person about all you have been through. I hope you can arrange for a day out soon. I look forward to reading more posts from you.
Thanks Honor! I guess I sound pretty pathetic, huh? ;P I did get loads of exercise in the other day- I took my zoo to the zoo. Lol. Anyway, yeah, I think the weight will come off when we finally move.
People are weird to pg women. I mean, the only thing you should say to some is, "Congradulations! You look great! New babies are wonderful," etc. I just became a wack magnet with Georgie. Hehehe. I finally stopped going places unless I had a friend with me. No one dared to say anything to a group of women!
Laura, I'm so glad you joined the blog. I know from reading your e-mails that your writing is always so full of YOU. I love that!
Wow--I had no idea that you were going through so much right now. You're trying to sell you home? Are you guys moving out of KC, or do you just need a bigger place for your "zoo"?
And what is up with the assholes commenting on your pregnancy weight? That is complete crap.
I agree with Honor. Your kids and your hubby are lucky to have a woman in their lives with such grit and determination--and with such a kick-ass sense of humor. I love ya!!
There are some women who criticize other women. The criticism goes like this: not slender and trendy enough, not hip enough, not married, married but not a mom, gained so much weight during her pregnancy, did not nurse, did not nurse long enough, did not practice birth control, practiced birth control, and yada yada yada. Even if a woman knows these people are full of hot air, the criticism still hurts. I guess we all need to learn not to bring one another down. There must be some level of competition among women that leads to baiting one another. This issue has bothered me for some time so I had to sound off. End of rant.
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